It's 4 AM and my brain is doing cartwheels. We leave in less than 36 hours and, while I couldn't be more excited, I am completely and delightfully overwhelmed. Brock and I have been around children our entire lives and we've never been scared of a miracle wrapped in skin, but this little 32 inch, 23 pound gift has me terrified! I keep telling myself that every new mother I've ever known has had many of the same feelings when the doctor hands them a little bundle and sends them home. "What do I do if he gets sick? How will I know what to feed him? How will I know when he's even hungry? What happens if he doesn't like me right away? How do I keep him from getting scared and overwhelmed? How do I keep me from getting scared and overwhelmed? What if his ears won't pop on the plane ride home?"
Okay, that last one might be a little unique...
Then I hear the voice of our case worker. "All you have to do is keep him alive. He doesn't have to be eating all his vegtables and get on a perfect routine right away. You just have to keep him alive..." We can do that! Lord willing!! We will figure out something that he will like to eat and, even if he doesn't sleep in his adorable little toddler bed we have ready, we will figure out somewhere that will be comfortable to sleep. We've done everything we know how to do to prepare-we've covered outlets, we've moved medicines, we've put family heirlooms away, we've read books and we've put all my bead projects in the basement. Now, we just have to roll with it. We get to enjoy it all. We get to be there for his first English words. We get to enjoy every run-across-the-room-jump-into-your-arms-bury-the-head-your-neck kinda hug. Life as we know it is over and now the party-and all the hard work-can start!
When events started spiraling out of control with Roman, we shut down. I stopped all the nesting projects (Granted, first I DID have to get our home livable again!) and closed the door on preparations. I never thought I'd say this, but I have been extremely grateful for this 30 day waiting period. Of course, if we had had the choice, we would have brought him home right away, but since we didn't have that option, it has been nice for the prep time. Neither one of us had let ourselves feel too attached and up until the court hearing, we were on a bit of auto-pilot. There was a big part of us that was scared of another drawn out tragedy. But Perfect Love drives out fear and God gave us all the resources we need to take each new step when it was time. Now, we are less than five days away from holding the little boy who captured our hearts. That still voice I heard the very first day in the baby home, "This little boy is going to heal my heart" was happily prophetic. We still pray and will continue to pray for little Roman, but we are also absolutely convinced that Daniel was destined for our family. My heart is full.
We are leaving to drive up to St. Louis tomorrow and we will fly out on Friday. We are scheduled to get to Arkhangelsk on Sunday around noon, just in time for our Sunday afternoon nap! We aren't sure yet if we will pick Daniel up on Monday or Tuesday, but we will fly out to Moscow with him on Tuesday afternoon. We will spend the rest of the week finalizing paperwork and getting ready to bring him to his forever home. We will take the early flight from Moscow home on Saturday the 28th, spend the night in St. Louis and come home on the 29th.
It seems so simple condensed into five little sentences. Our world is going to be upside down and backwards. We are as ready for it as we know how to be. His world is going to be upside down and backwards, and he has no idea what's in store for him. Please keep remembering us in your prayers! First and foremost that we will have wisdom. Wisdom to know what toys, medicine and what size clothes to pack! (This relatively simple task has me completely bumfuzzled!) Wisdom to know what to do to help him feel safe and protected. Wisdom to navigate a foreign country with a new addition. Pray for Daniel, too. It's always amazing to me how resilient God made most children. Pray that he will have peace and not be confused and frightened. Pray that he will be able to rest comfortably away from the only "home" he's ever known. Please pray that he stays healthy as travel and stress can wear on an immune system. Pray that he will feel safe and protected and loved. Because he is. More than I can begin to put into words. He is that peice that's been missing in our lives for what feels like far too long. But God's timing is perfect and Daniel is a good and perfect gift from Him. What a treasure! What a miracle! And that miracle would have never been possible if it had not been for the prayers and support of God's people. Words cannot begin to express the overwhelming gratitude we have for every prayer lifted and every gift offered. You've all been a critical part of changing a child's legacy. Brock and I just get to be the lucky ones he will call Mommy and Daddy :)
Ahh, yes...my cup runneth over!
By the way, we will be bringing a stuffed Buddy for every single child in that Baby Home! Waaahhh-Hoooo!!! Thank you to all who made that possible!!
i hope you can keep up your blog after you bring him home, I am so happy for the 2 of you, and he is so so cute, i know you will do well being a mommy your blog shows, you put your heart on the line and got burned, but look what you got out of. When we lost our 2 1/2 month old, i didn't think we would have another, but i got the twins 7 years later, its is true if you give some thing away you get it back times 2 and i believe you got that after the hard time you had with the first one. I know you don't need luck, (you have God) but i am saying good luck and God bless your trip and bring the 3 of you home safe.
ReplyDeleteIf you need any advice about anything let me know. It has been 19 months since we were in your place and it is still fresh in our minds. We spent that last week in Moscow too so we know how you feel!
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