Today started out kind of rough. Brock and I went on a tirade this morning of all the things that we are so tired of. There is a part of me that wants to list these things so that, when this season is over, I can remember every emotion of this season. And another, stronger pull in me realizes how incredibly petty most of our complaints were. So, I will not post them for the world to read, not because you don't need to see our frailites but because there are still words said within the walls of our home that are our own private discourse. We had no idea when we started a blog and announced to the world that we were adopting that we would have such a following. There have been so many of you who have been an incredible blessing to us, especially over these last four months. But in being so public with the adoption, there have been a few people who feel like we should throw open the curtains in our living room and reveal everything happening in our life. To those very few, I'd like to gently remind you that this is all very real and very emotional for us. We are not actors in a elaborate show. Please remember too that when Roman finally comes home, we will be going into "hiding" for a few weeks. His little world will be turned inside out, upside down and backwards and he needs some time to get used to us and his place in our home. We would love nothing more than to hold him up in the air on our front porch and announce to the world that our son has come home, but we believe it's in his best interest to keep things quiet for a little while. We will keep the blog updated as much as we can to let you know how he's doing, especially at first, but we are asking people to be patient with us while we all figure each other out.
One of our issues this morning was wondering if we had missed God somehow in this process and maybe we weren't the best for Roman. I literally laid face down in the floor asking for some kind of sign and heard absolutely nothing. Then this evening as we were driving home, we got a notification from PayPal for another donation. It was from a complete stranger who had written a very sweet note attached to it. It was suddenly crystal clear to me that even though God might not be talking, He is providing. For now, that's enough for now. We will keep moving forward.
I just need to practice being still a little longer and listening a little more carefully.
One final note: thank you to the friends who talked to us today us off the proverbial ledge today. You were there at the right time with the right words. Love you all.