Friday, October 14, 2011

Fear Not...

First things first.  Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, texts and emails.  It brings tears to my eyes to think of the number of prayers lifted to our Heavenly Father yesterday afternoon on behalf of our family.  Our God is good and His timing is still perfect.  I HAVE to believe that.  If I don't have that, I don't have anything left right now.

We called the agency this morning and we were told that Tatiana had  not been able to see the judge today.  I don't know why and I don't have to know why.  I do know that Tatiana is doing everything in her power to help us bring our son home.  She is supposed to meet with the judge on Monday.  Timing is everything.  I'm not sure how we keep from losing our mind in the next 60 hours, but we will just go one minute at a time.  My sister had called some people and felt burdened for everyone to pray at 9:05 am on Saturday morning.  My first thought was that this would be too late.  Now, I see.

Last night, before we went to sleep Brock and I played the "Thankful Game".  I Thes. 5.18 says, "In all things give thanks for this is the will of God for your life."  We don't know what the days ahead hold, but we know Who holds them.  We don't know exactly what we are supposed to be doing right now, so we are starting with the basic building blocks.  Give thanks. 

I had a restless night of crazy dreams.  At one point, I woke up and I was sweating through my pajamas.  I was covered in blankets and pillows.  I had dreamed that the judge just needed me to get more covers on me.  I had two big pillows on top of me along with blankets and a quilt.  I must have been quite a sight!  The ridiculous idea that something as silly as pulling more blankets on myself would somehow win favor with a judge who has no idea who I am.  "Come to me all you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your soul.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  Matthew 18.28-30  Physically, I was heavy laden with blankets and pillows and it was suffocating me.  Spiritually, I was heavy laden with worry and uncertainity and it was suffocating me.  Last night, the only thing we needed to do was rest and trust. 

I found a few treasures before I went to sleep.

Isaiah 41.10 was shared by a precious friend yesterday and it was felt like oxygen to me. 
"Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not be dismayed for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and I will help you.
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

A few verses later in verse 13, I "found" this treasure: 

For I am the LORD your God, who takes you by your right hand
and says to you do not fear, I will help you.

In my mind's eye, I saw a father with a small, scared child.  Her Daddy bends lows, takes her hand and coos in her ear, "Don't be scared honey.  I am your Daddy and I will help you."  Right now, the only way to get Roman in the arms of his parents is for his parents to fall into the arms of their Father.

My God told me last night as clearly as He told Israel through Isaiah many, many years ago that I have nothing to fear.  He is my God.  He will give us the strength we need and He will help us.  He will take our right hand with His left so that His right hand is free to uphold us.  I never knew until a few minutes ago that the right hand signifies ominpotent, eminient power.  My God is able to save. 

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