For the next three weeks I will doing a daily blog. Please know that this is more for my own "therapy" and peace of mind. My mind has been doing blackflips since the judge's second delay and I desperately want to learn all I'm supposed to in these next three weeks. I firmly believe everything happens for a specific reason, and even though this is one of the hardest things we've had to do in our married life, I know that even this works together for good...somehow. I also believe that our God is very efficient and will use every experience in our life to bring glory to Himself, if we love Him and are called according to His purpose. I will not be posting a link on Facebook everyday as this will be more for my own exploration into this season and not emotional details of what happens. When we do receive new information, I will post a separate blog that day and it will not be titled "Day 7" or something. Please feel free to read them, though. Just know that it wil be more devotional style than anything. I want to believe that God would have us come out of this short season with a bigger glimpse of who He is.
Dear LORD Jesus,
As Brock and I sit in the airport waiting for our flight back home once again, I want to pray. Before I drifted off to sleep last night-and I thank you for finally allowing me to sleep a full night! What a gift sleep can be!-my mind was spinning with all the pieces and players in this season of our life.
I want to pray for the judge. I pray specifically that You would grant her wisdom, peace, courage and compassion. Give her Your wisdom to see things very clearly. Wisdom to know the facts of this case that apply to the adoption and the wisdom to know the topics that have been discussed that are irrelevant-or it would appear irrelevant to us. Give her peace, Heavenly Father. There have been so many cases of child abuse, of the woman in Tennesse who sent her child back to Russia. I believe she feels the burden of responsiblity of her decision. Please give her a peace that Brock and I would lay down our life to protect Roman and do everything in our power to make sure that he always recieves the very best possible care we can provide. I also pray that you would give her courage to rule her courtroom and not be swayed by every whim the prosecutor has. And finally, LORD, give her your compassion. Not only for us, but for a little boy who desperately needs a home. The social worker told the courtroom on Thursday that the percentage of children who succeed after graduating from the orphanages is only 7 or 8%. Please, please, please open her eyes to see that every day that Roman spends in institutionalized care contributes to his delays.
Father God, for the prosecutor, we ask that you would still her mind. I understand that she has a job to do and I hold no anger for her. For her also, I pray that you would give her wisdom. She has requested some things that for us and for our agency have seemed extremely bizarre and I just ask, in Jesus' name that you would bind all other bizarre requests. Please, Heavenly Father.
Lord, we pray for Andre and Tatiana especailly as they visit the judge on Monday. I pray that Your grace will transcend and supercede the conversation. I ask that you would govern that entire conversation and grant understanding to both sides. I pray that the results of that meeting would bring everyone closer to Your will. I pray that you would put the right words and the right questions in Tatiana and Andre's mouth and their pleas for a conclusion to this season would not fall on deaf ears. I ask that you would set a guard over their hearts as well. Thank you, sweet Jesus for the righteous anger they have felt on behalf of our family-us and Roman. But I pray that You would protect their heart from the toxic poison that comes with harboring anger.
I also want to pray for every single person You have placed in our life who has partnered with us. We have been undone by those who have gone to great lengths to sacrifice for our physical needs right now and again we ask that You would repay them generously for caring for us. I also ask for a special blessing for those who have committed to fighting with us on their knees. I pray LORD that the time they spend in pray would be intimate and precious to them. I pray that you would give each and every one of them your indescribable peace, especially as Your answers are delayed as far as our understanding goes. I pray that You would also grant them a spirit of perseverance and the confidence that at the proper time a harvest will be reaped. Please, Jesus, impress upon their hearts that they are a vital part of what is happening in our life right now. Thank you for placing us so securely in the family of God.
LORD, we pray for Your continued watch and care over Roman. We are so incredibly thankful that he is in a safe place right now with women who seem to adore him. I pray that You would protect him and keep his heart tender towards us. Thank you, holy God for every minute of every hour that you have allowed us to spend with him. Keep our hearts turned toward gratitude for the time You have given and not the time we are losing.
And finally LORD, I pray for Brock and myself. I ask that we would be very wise in this season of waiting. At the end of this process, let it be said that we experienced You in a more real and powerful way. Continue to grant us Your traveling mercies, Your perseverance and Your goodness. We both know that, when given the choice to choose our own limited understanding, or to lean on You, we choose You. We believe You will make our path straight. Thank you for giving us enough direction to know the next step to take and we believe that at the right time, You will reveal Your next step.
In all these things we ask in Jesus' name,