We need advice. We are at the absolute end of ourselves. We don't have the money to stay in Russia. Brock tried to call the airline and after the prematurely disconnected $80 call, the only new information we have is flights can be changed for $280 per person plus the difference in the flight. And that was just one leg of the journey home. We simply don't have that plus the money to stay plus the money to fly back to get Roman. And the money is only the smallest part of this. Every single step we have taken in the last six months has left us battered and scarred. We desperately believe in the essence of adoption. We want our story to have a happy ending, but how much more? Does God have a better life for Roman that doesn't include us?
We are coming home. Without answers about what next. We will come back for court in two weeks. Beyond that, we don't know. We are so tired of being a charity case. Of being pitied. the only thing we, the only constant heartbeat of ours has been that we want a child. And for the last six months, we have wanted a very specific child. We have been abandoned, We have emotionally, financially and psychologically bled out. We just want to go home and let our broken hearts start to heal. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to everyone who has read this and kept up with it that we can't finish this in our natural strength. And I know some of you will say that God will provide His Supernatural strength, but in our tired and frail minds, even that doesn't seem possible. And I am so incredibly sorry, Roman that I am even entertaining the thought of walking away. My faith is weak and I am broken. I am sorry, Lord, that I don't know how to hear you right now. I feel like a miserable failure.
Where are you, God? Tell us what to do! Are we so far off course that You can't reach us anymore?