Here's what I know...
Brock shared the details of the court hearing today and the only emotion that I am feeling over the numbness is determination to see this through. As another adoptive mother put it, "Delay is not Denial". We will outlast this judge. We will meet every demand that she has and we will continue. I was so proud of my husband when he stood up with his shoulders squared and told the judge that the decision to invite the other Russian families was not in the best interest of the child. It is absurd to me that this is even an issue.
"Nothing like this has happeed to any of our families before."
We are going down in the chronicles of the agency as the family who has faced some of the most difficult delays. And we are determined to go down as one of the families who has shown the greatest strength and perseverance. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil. 4.13
I know you knew us the last time you saw us. We are praying that God would protect your heart right now and that you would supernaturally understand that there will be a day when we don't have to leave you. I pray that our coming and leaving you doesn't do damage to your ability to bond to us and that you won't always be waiting for us to walk out again. We are praying for the judge and the prosecutor. We are praying that the LORD would give them peace about us and our adopting you. We know that for our God, time means nothing but timing is everything. We are praying for the opportunities that we have with the women we are meeting in Russia who are helping us adopt you. We are praying that we have the opportunity to share in kind the goodness and kindness that they have shown to us. Irina told us today that she read in our paperwork that we believe in a God and that our faith seems very strong. We are praying that our faith can be real to these ladies. For now, know that we love you more and more with each passing day. We are so incredibly grateful for the 21 hours that we have gotten to spend with you in your life. We love that we already know so many things about your personality. You love music and balls. You are completely comfortable sitting quietly in my lap. We love that you stick all of your fingers in your mouth when you are placing a goldfish on your tongue. We know you, Roman. Not as well as we will know you. But even now, before a judge can rule it, we know that you are our son.
My mother asked me what our next step was. One step at a time. We go home. We pray and pray and pray and when we find out when the next court date will be, we will book our flights, come back to Russia and continue to move another slow step forward. This delay does not make sense to us, but we are called to "Trust in [our] LORD with all of our heart and lean not on our own understanding. In all of our ways we will acknowledge Him and He will make our path straight." And we can lean on Him because we believe that "He knows the plans he has for us and they are plans to prosper us and not to harm us. Plans to give us a hope and a future" Jeremiah 29.11
We are to "consider it pure joy" (yes, I said joy! More importantly, James said "joy") "when you face trials of many kinds" (I NEVER thought he would mean court trials! Because we are facing "trials of many kinds" in the court room) "because the testing of your faith develops perseverance and perseverance must complete it's work in you so that you may be mature and complete not lacking in anything."
"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us." Romans 5.3-5
Our God is not done with our story. We are convinced now more than ever that we are in the midst of spiritual warfare. You have been so faithful to share our story as we shared our faith and we have had over 12,000 views of people who are following our story. I believe that we have an enemy who wants to see us discouraged and give up and then everyone will see that our God did not come through. "But I am confident that He who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it." Pray for us like we are involved in warfare. Pray that our enemy will be silenced and bound from the courtroom and in the minds of the judge and the prosecutor. Pray that people would see Christ in our story!
We aren't finished yet.