We just arrived home today. I am so weary of the recycled airplane air, handsy airport security and crowds of people. I am tired of waiting in lines and taking off my shoes. And I'm dreading the trip back again. How many more times? Today is not a day for hopeful optimism. It's a day for physical and mental weariness. Roman, someday when you read this, I want you to know that we never got tired of you...just the obstacles that came trying to bring you home. We think of you everyday. We spend most of our days thinking about you, missing you like crazy and answering a million questions about you. We believe that, in God's perfect timing, you will get to come home and be our forever son.
You should have seen your dad on the last leg of the plane ride. Our seats were not together and I could hear him talking three rows back. All about you. When the flight attendant came to pass out drinks, she smiled at me and said, "Roman is such a cute little guy. I could just squeeze those cheeks." Your dad is going to be one of THOSE dads. So incredibly proud of you already. Anytime we've thought that this was getting to difficult to continue, we remember the way you laugh and how your little fingers feel wrapped around ours. Don't worry son, we will not let go.
So, back to the weariness. Usually when I write I feel inspired somehow, but right now, the only thing I'm inspired to do is lay my head on a pillow. But I promised a blog a day and so I'll push through the fog of jet lag. Also, they say the best way to get over jet lag is to stay awake until a decent bed time so that you "force" your body back on schedule. We are getting close.
There are so many things I should be doing right now. Laundry, unpacking, scheduling Scentsy parties, replying to emails, facebook posts, texts, thank you notes, more scarves, grocery store and the list goes on...but I just can't right now. Is it any coincidence that our LORD set the example when He created the world that He rested on the seventh day? He is a God that never sleeps and never slumbers and it's almost like He took humanity by the hand and said, "It's okay, I rested and I know you need to also." Psalm 23:2-3 sounds like paradise to me right now. "He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside still water. He restores my soul." Such tender and sweet care provided by a God who knows how very fragile we can be sometimes.
I remember hearing from someone somewhere that sometimes the most holy thing you can do is go to sleep. Deepen your breaths and slow your heart and let your body heal from the overstressed world we live in. Jesus said, "Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke up and you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11.28-30. He knows. Praise the LORD, He knows!
And I know this. While I sleep, He is still working. In is almost 7 am in Russia and He's beginning the day over there. He is taking care of our Roman. He is working in the mind and heart of the judge. He knows how to give good gifts and He loves Roman far more than we ever could and I believe that in spite of every delay, He still has Roman's best interest in His mind. I don't have to worry about it. I just have to rest right now. And tomorrow I can get up, seek His face and be obedient.
So, Good night...